N.D.E. (Near-Death Experience)

Mom, Dad, don't panic, but I've been attacked.

By a bird.

It's a sunny Monday morning, and Jess and I are enjoying a groggy walk to 8:30 Hebrew. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the spring flowers are blooming in full force. I was even humming the Beatles, that's how jolly of a morning it was.

Until....

Something starts pulling on my hair, from the top of my head. I scream and flail my arms in the general direction of the offender, only to see the world's biggest crow fly off, a few stray hairs dangling from its CLAWS.

I'm still pretty shaken up, not to mention the fact that my head has just been assaulted. Jess checks for bird poop, and just as soon as we're in the clear, the dang bird circles back around and begins dive bombing me.

It swoops in for a strike, flaps off (to gain height, the better with which to destroy me with) and drops again.

This literally happens four times before I make it into the security checkpoint area.

Let the Alfred Hitchcock jokes begin.